Meet Adria Dawn! Adria is a talented multi-hyphenate who shines both in front of and behind the camera. In front of the camera, Adria is most known for playing the dysfunctional outcast April Tuna on Ryan Murphy's first series, the high school cult hit, Popular. Behind the camera, Adria is an accomplished director, writer, and Producer, who is most known for her films about social change. She’s recently won two Telly Awards (Yay, Adria!), one for her multi-award-winning Black Lives Matter film, Karen, and the other for her alcohol use disorder film, Gray Area. She is also known for the educational film series Kids Matter where she just released their latest film – Identity. As if all of that weren’t enough to keep anyone busy, Adria has also begun work on a memoir that I’m sure will be both enlightening and entertaining. Last but never least important! Adria is one of my oldest & very best friends… we met last century while we were both attending the University of Illinois and we’ve been there for each other both professionally and personally throughout our lives. I really enjoyed getting to both, chatting with Adria, and helping shine a light on what a fantastic artist and human she is. This conversation is a testament to how important it is as an artist to build and maintain a tribe of positive collaborators and friends to help us along this journey we call life. Yay friendship! Find out more about Adria on her website: http://adriadawn.com/Home.html Connect with Adria on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/adria.dawn/ Connect with Adria on Twitter at: https://twitter.com/adria_dawn
[00:00:00] Cris: Hi, and welcome to Blissful Spinster. This week's guest is actor, filmmaker, and educator, Adria Dawn Adria lives in Chicago, and she's a talented, multi-hyphenate who shines both in front of and behind the camera. Adria is most known for playing the dysfunctional outcast, April Tuna on Ryan Murphy's first series, the high school cult hit Popular as a director, writer, and producer, Adria is most known for her films for social change.
[00:00:25] She's recently won two Telly Awards. My goodness, Adria, that's fantastic. One of those Telly awards was for her multi-award-winning black lives matter film, Karen and the other Telly award is for her alcohol use disorder, film, gray area. She's also known for the educational film series Kids Matter where she works with middle school-aged kids to make films.
[00:00:45] And they just released their latest film identity as if that weren't enough to keep anyone busy. Ari's also begun work on a memoir that I'm sure will be both enlightening and entertaining, just like she. Last, but never least [00:01:00] important. Adria is one of my oldest and best friends. As a matter of fact, we met last century while we were both attending the university of Illinois and we've been there for each other, both professionally and personally throughout our lives.
[00:01:13] I really enjoyed getting to both chat with ADR and shine, a light on what a fantastic artist and human she. This conversation is a Testament to how important it is for us as artists to build and maintain a tribe of positive collaborators and friends to help us along this journey we call life. So, however you found this podcast, thank you for tuning in, and please enjoy this week's episode.
[00:01:36] Hiri,
[00:01:36] Adria: how you doing? I'm good. I'm awake. And I'm excited to. Yay.
[00:01:41] Cris: I'm awake too, but it's two hours earlier. Here you
[00:01:43] Adria: are super awake. I'm very impressed.
[00:01:47] Cris: I have Matt cat
[00:01:48] Adria: mug. Yes. And your cats around you? Mm-hmm it's a typical day. yep. Hi, we hear you. Thanks for joining
[00:01:55] Cris: us. Thanks for joining us. Uh, all three of my cats.
[00:01:59] [00:02:00] Yes.
[00:02:00] Adria: Yes. A gaggle of cats that makes you ha makes you a gaggle, right? A gaggle
[00:02:05] Cris: owner. It makes me, yeah, it makes me a gaggle. It also makes me a very happy spin. See, there you go. Yeah, there you go.
[00:02:10] Adria: Are you blissful? In
[00:02:11] Cris: fact, I'm very on brand. Oh, so, so a thank you for doing this. Thank you for having me.
[00:02:18] You're one, my favorite favorite people. Hi, and you're super talented. So I'm very happy that you came all. I got my tissue just in case it's right here. That's good. Cause we might cry. I'll just cry into my cat. so let's take this back a little bit, right? Let's take it back. Let's take it back like, like over 20 years, right?
[00:02:43] Adria: Yeah, I was trying to figure out how many years it was that I have met. I've known you. And when did I meet you? And it was just many moons ago, Chris. It
[00:02:50] Cris: was many moons. We were in Illinois and I had just arrived into grad school. Yes, I was friends with rich. And you were friends with Megan and then [00:03:00] we all combined.
[00:03:01] So for the listeners, rich, who we just mentioned lives in Canada now, very talented sound designer, but he was a sound design student and I was in the technical side of the university of Illinois. Grad program at her Urbana champagne people, Urbana champagne, go line eye where I am from. Yep. Orange and blue.
[00:03:17] We're gonna get to that. So you rich and Megan were all locals. Yes. That were going to the local school shampoo, banana shampoo, banana. And for listeners out there whom. Are younger and might be considering college. If you want look into a theater program, it's a very good theater program. And that's what all three of us were studying in different forms.
[00:03:36] Yes. AER you were in the acting program, which is a conservatory right.
[00:03:40] Adria: Conservatory type program. Yeah. What does that mean? Well means you get like a, a bachelor of fine arts in acting. You get a BFA mm-hmm as opposed to a BA and it's run in a conservatory type training. When I was there, you had to audition at the end of your freshman year to get into the next few levels, few years of the program.
[00:03:59] [00:04:00] So I think they cut almost half of us and for whatever reason, they kept my crazy butt and I graduated from there. Yeah. So I think I had, maybe I'm trying to remember if 15 people in my class total. Half men, half women. And yeah, it was a really, I'm a nerd like it, I loved college. I loved learning. I should say.
[00:04:19] There's always weird social aspects to, to anything that you enter into. But I loved my teachers and
[00:04:25] Cris: I loved the experience and I was in the grad program for technical stuff. Yes. So theater technology and. What was cool to me about that they had a union shop, which if anyone knows about, once you get into the professional side of graduating and working, that was a really cool skill or experience for me to have had.
[00:04:45] Cuz the minute I got on a movie set that was union, I understood kind of the workings of it. And zrich kind of already had a leg up on that way. We're
[00:04:54] Adria: gonna shout out Tom Corder right now. Shout.
[00:04:56] Cris: Shouting out Tom Porter. He was he's. He was, I believe he's [00:05:00] retired now, but he was the head of that program and such a nice man and super talented.
[00:05:05] Oh yeah. And not only technical students would come through his shop, but the actors as well, he was a gem and he used to call me, which you, I think I've told you before, but he used to call me the actor's technician. Yeah. If you remember, the green room was right behind. Scene shop and I would sit out there to eat and none of the technicians would yeah, because I wanted to meet you guys.
[00:05:26] Yeah. And then he would come up to me and go, your strikes always go so smoothly, Chris and I go that's cuz I've gotten to know them. Yes. They're. They're they're working for a friend, not just someone who's telling them to move that piece of wood. Yes. And I
[00:05:39] Adria: think I've always gravitated towards crew if I'm an actor on the set or whatever, but yeah.
[00:05:45] I love
[00:05:45] Cris: you guys. It's whether it's theater or film, and I think it's important to understand it's a collaborative effort. It is. And it takes all of us. Yes. Um, I will say that what you do and I have so much more respect for, for the listeners. When you [00:06:00] hear my, my little show teaser, Adrian threw me through the ringer.
[00:06:04] In a vocal lesson, cuz I asked her to please help me. cause that is not something I am trained in and I have, I've always respected actors and performers, but so much more after that. And what you like to even think about what you feelings or thoughts you put in while you're reading or how you see? I hadn't that wasn't had something that had ever entered my brain.
[00:06:24] Cause right when I read stuff, I read. Or write it. It's how, like it plays out in my head or I see the visual. And how do I communicate that? It's not about me reading it out loud. Yeah. Yeah. so it was super, I mean, I loved it. Oh, good. I'll be like, I need to do that again.
[00:06:41] Adria: yeah. And we only had one hour, one session you and I feel like you were like a sponge taking it all in.
[00:06:47] And I think if you want anybody to have any progress in any amount of time, they just have to be willing and joyful about it. And. That's what you were, so
[00:06:54] Cris: it worked yeah, I was relating that back to oh, but what we are having is a, when I [00:07:00] write a script or you write a script, cuz you're a writer too, we're having a conversation.
[00:07:03] Yeah. We're writing the beginning of a conversation that's gonna be had with actors or directors or cinematographers. And so why wouldn't you go out of your way to meet the other artists, right. And to get along with them and to understand them, not just on set, but outside of set so that you're better prepared when you are on set.
[00:07:22] Yes, exactly. Now what you do. What I was gonna say too, is what I was studying in theater was building scenery or lighting or all of that, that needs an actor. It's a museum piece at best . Yeah. But an actor can do what they do on a blank stage in a t-shirt and jeans. That's been proven over and over again.
[00:07:41] Adria: And we're self taping too in front of just our little iPhones.
[00:07:44] Cris: So, yeah. Yeah. It's and I'm always amazed by that. It's the heart of. You're the actor is the heart of the communication device that you are putting out there. We hope to be. talk to me about like, when, when did you, because I think you were pretty much a [00:08:00] child force of energy where like, when you were a kid, I was imagined that, yeah.
[00:08:05] I think
[00:08:06] Adria: if we really go back, it all started when my mom and she'll be like, goddamnit, Adrian, you brought that up. But my mom, she, they, they were having any tryouts at marketplace mall Uhhuh. And she didn't take me and I'm like, wow, it's the start of it. But no, I've always want, I've always loved acting. I think I really started getting into it in high school, which carried over into college and after college and still, I love acting, but ultimately it goes back to what you're saying about collaboration.
[00:08:32] I, I love to collaborate with people and actors. This might sound weird is like we, we like to help when a director gives me notes. Great. Let's do it. I want to give you what you want. So kind of always had that in the back of my head. How can. How can I help? How can I give you what you want? How can I be a part of this part of everything, part of the wheel that makes it all go
[00:08:50] Cris: when you get a script or what is that?
[00:08:52] What, where does your head go first?
[00:08:54] Adria: Well, when I first read a script, I'm like a busy researcher B you know, I'm like, who's [00:09:00] making this. Have I made anything before? What was it? Who else is on the team? Who's directing it. Who wrote it? Figure all that out. And it all relates back to tone. What tone are they looking for?
[00:09:09] And then I look at the script kind of like a scene detective, you know, what motivates this line to say this line, to say this line. And then really, I just drop myself into the given circumstances of the world and I see how that feels until it feels as believable and as authentic as it can feel to me.
[00:09:27] and then I hope that that reads in terms of what they're looking
[00:09:30] Cris: for. , that's interesting, cuz you do always feel grounded, but you are often given very ungrounded characters. Yeah. If that's a polite, polite way to say that my brand Chris, my brand, I mean that's a talent. Like not everybody, not every actor could do that.
[00:09:47] Adria: Thanks for saying that. I, I do really appreciate that. I do think that every artist, every creative has their strengths and weakness. And I think it, yes, I like to be challenged to just be the normal woman on camera but really [00:10:00] my sweet spot. My strengths are playing people that are a little more emotionally off balance or full in a, in different ways.
[00:10:07] And I, I, I really prefer those
[00:10:09] Cris: roles. cause I mean, you go back to, if we talk about our beginnings in LA, cuz you started in Chicago, right? Can you maybe I did. Like how was that? Yeah, so
[00:10:18] Adria: I graduated college on such a high, I loved the teachers. I worked in the summer theater and all. And at the end of my senior year, I had one camera class for one semester and I was like, Ooh, I really like this it's different.
[00:10:31] And so then I came to Chicago and U of, I gave us a showcase where an agent picked me up there. And I remember that first year of just being like, I just wanna do this all the way I wanna be union. I wanna get on camera. And then, I don't know, like, I'm, this is funny, but I'm always cold because I'm small and I'm like, I really need some warm weather.
[00:10:53] I think I'm just gonna take the plunge and move to LA. And of course, all my agents here are like, you've not been on TV. Don't go. [00:11:00] That's not a good choice. And so then of course, that made me go, well, now I have to go, but I did book a couple of national commercial spots, and then I saved that money. And in that year I was able to get my union card and then I've just moved out to LA and then I realized my story is not normal.
[00:11:17] And then. Four months after moving there, I booked my first TV role and that, that was great. And it lasted
[00:11:23] Cris: two years. And that was one of these characters we're talking about. Yeah, it was a character called April tuna. So anyone out there who is a Ryan Murphy head you'll know the show popular if you don't.
[00:11:35] That was Ryan Murphy's very first show. Yeah. Andr had a recurring. Role on it, right? Yeah. Recurring guest star. Yeah. Recurring guest star, which was pretty huge for just moving to LA, but it was such a funny character. You can find clips of Ari's if you wanna tuna outbursts. yeah. And I just wanna commend you cuz.
[00:11:55] It wasn't normal, but you were smart enough to get your card, your sag card. [00:12:00]Yeah. In Chicago. I've always thought that was a very smart decision. Was that conscious?
[00:12:03] Adria: Yes. I did not want to leave until I had the card. Yeah. Yeah. And until I had some type of footage and for me it was commercial work but it was something.
[00:12:14] Um, and then I just networked and I met, there was an agent out here in Chicago working at a Chicago agent that was a friend of mine. And he was going to take a group of people out to. To manage. He was gonna start managing and he didn't take me, but when I got to LA, I was like, you need to take me so, yeah, I think it was just the fearlessness that one has on upon getting a good education and feeling like you can do anything.
[00:12:38] And the age, the timing, I was very lucky I realized, but I also really wanted it. And I, and popular started off as just like a few lines that turned into a recurring guest star. I just remember thinking, be bold or go home and feeling like if I just don't believe my big choices, nobody will. So I just, I think that's what helped [00:13:00] me back then.
[00:13:00] Anyway.
[00:13:01] Cris: Well, I think you also, you've always, like you said, you're a nerd, I'm a nerd. You've always done your homework and you've always worked hard. I don't think we get to hear where we are. If you don't put in some sort of work. To get here,
[00:13:14] Adria: right? No. And that, I can say that about you too. Chris, you've been writing scripts for years and I have been excited to be your reader on so many of them, but you're always working, whether it's with a partner or yourself, you always have ideas.
[00:13:26] You're always thinking about other things and you're also working in the industry as you go. So I can, it's just the doing the doing that helps you gain momentum. Well,
[00:13:34] Cris: and I think it, it just makes us more comfortable as we are getting a little older with like, we are finding ourselves and yes, life is.
[00:13:42] Evolution. Yes. Just like the script I've written. I often say it's a coming of middle age story wrapped in UN romantic comedy. That that's right. That coming of middle age. And why it came to me was we often just call things coming of age. And it's often a story between, you know, [00:14:00]16 to 21. Right. And I'm like, that is not the only time in life that no, we are lost and are finding ourselves.
[00:14:08] It is a continual journey. And I think we do a disservice to younger adults. If they somehow think that they're supposed to be fully formed by the time they're 25. Oh my gosh. You're not
[00:14:20] Adria: exactly. Oh my God. This could be a whole other talk too, but like I'm such a fan and I don't wanna sound weird. I'm such a fan of people failing.
[00:14:27] Yeah. You gotta fail. You. Fall on your butt and get up and realize that you were an idiot and say, sorry to people and get better. And whether it's about the work or socially, emotionally, we must fail to get better. And I think there's such a, even with my son, who's 13 it's it's okay. If you messed up, man, you just say, sorry.
[00:14:45] And you mean it. Get up and you do better next time. Cuz if you don't mess up, then how do you. Yeah. Anyway, I'm just a fan of that in work too, you know, we're my first shorts. Amazing. No, they're not supposed to be like, unless I'm like some crazy child of like, I don't [00:15:00] know, but you have to just keep doing it and
[00:15:01] Cris: messing up is part of it.
[00:15:02] You're also not only learning your own place in the world and who you are, but how you're relating to everyone else and how those pieces fit. And who's gonna stick with like, I I'm in feel incredibly lucky. Paths crossed as early as they did. And we've been yes. Kind of on our journeys together, separate, but always supporting each other.
[00:15:22] Yeah. And you know, I've got several friend like friends that, and I know you do, and he that's super important is to understand you're not alone. right. And that there's people you can send your script to that. Yes. Might be. You might think is the most fantastic thing you've written and is crappy because it's the second one you've written.
[00:15:39] Yeah. Who cares? You're evolving. You're you know, so that third script becomes better. I agree.
[00:15:44] Adria: And it's also too, like I'm not anti male at all, but it is important to have fellow women that you can do that with. And I don't have a ton. Women that I do that with, to be honest, like a handful that I really am like that I really feel supported and I support back.
[00:15:59] But I think [00:16:00] that's so important because you talk about evolving to where you are now and this coming of middle age. I feel like the last few years of my life have been so important to me in terms of my own personal growth. And if you would've asked me in my twenties, if, when I'm pushing 50, I would have these, these moments.
[00:16:18] Now I would've been like, nah, those would've already been there. But no, it's exciting.
[00:16:23] Cris: It's exciting. Yeah. When I was 12, I dreamed of having my Oscar at 25. Don't like, I think when you're focused, when you're focused, cuz I was very focused. Like I was on this track from like eight yes on, right. Yes. Um, and I'm not gonna bore people with that story again, cuz it's been told on other episodes.
[00:16:41] Oh, okay. Uh, and you've heard it more than anyone. Well, I like it. Yeah. I also love that. That didn't happen for me right. Immediately. and that I, because I wouldn't have been able to write and beyond this journey to make a lone girl, right. If that had already happened, [00:17:00] same, I'd be a whole different human being.
[00:17:02] Yes. And everything that has happened in the past 51 years. Has led to this, Chris? Yes. So I'd love for you to talk a little bit, cuz maybe there's people out there that are like you who are an actor and are thinking of branching out or are trying to figure out how to make things. Cause you very early on, like the minute there was a cam quarter available, you guys started doing documentaries.
[00:17:25] Talk about that journey and yeah. What precipitated that? Yeah.
[00:17:28] Adria: So I lived in LA for 10 years. And I ended up moving back to Chicago with when I, when my son was three months old and when my husband got a job at Columbia college, Chicago, so we came back for the job and for the healthcare. And at that point, you know, I actually,
[00:17:43] Cris: it was before that, before that you were doing it in LA, that's what I'm talking about.
[00:17:47] It was so, yeah,
[00:17:47] Adria: so I was doing it before LA actually. So I've always been naturally curious, curious person. So yes, I love acting and still do I, I, I still audition. I still. Doing work [00:18:00] on camera that way. But when I was in college, I actually, when I was in high school, I thought what would happen if instead of being in the play, I directed a play so a friend of mine and I, we directed a play and it was wonderful experience in terms of.
[00:18:15] Finding out, we did this wild movement piece and it was super fun to just explore and create. And then when I was in college, I would always be the one to like people would tell me their monologues. And I was like coaching back then even, and out of college, I was doing my own place at Mary Archie.
[00:18:33] Theater in their one act festivals in the summer. So there was always this tendency to want to make my own work, to create my own work with others in some way. And then in LA, after I had done a bunch of television and film, I always gravitate towards the crew. And really want to know what they were doing and what everything meant and all that.
[00:18:53] It was a natural curiosity that then my friend at the time, David, before we got married back
[00:18:57] Cris: back when he wore leather pants back, when [00:19:00] he wore
[00:19:00] Adria: leather pants, we were like, yeah, he was working for commercials and trailers and film. And I was working in TV and we're like, let's just make something just to have it be silly.
[00:19:09] And, you know, you audition so much and go out for so many jobs. I don't wanna say anybody else's words, I just wanna improv and see what happens. And we started making these comedy improv shorts and it was just him and me. I was in front of the camera and he was behind it. And we just were having such a blast doing really stupid comedy sketches.
[00:19:27] And we had Joel Stover in it. Who's now on stranger things. We had a, and Moad in him, you know, like we, we just were just being so silly, but it was also like a chance for me to see. How the camera was working and, you know, he would talk to me about the edit and things like that. Anyway, fast forward to coming back to Chicago and I teach here at acting studio, Chicago and at performer school.
[00:19:49] And I coach my brains out I'm coaching after this for auditions and things. So now what I'm mainly known for as a filmmaker is my films for social change. And if you would've told me. [00:20:00] Back when I was in LA, that I would be doing films for social change and social justice and all this. And I'd be directing them with David and writing them and producing them.
[00:20:08] I'd be like, you're crazy. I makes good
[00:20:10] Cris: comedy. What are you talking about?
[00:20:11] Adria: Yeah, I'm a nut. So now I'm just a nut that makes. Things for change but I think it's always, it's because of my curiosity and wanting to learn as much as I can about
[00:20:21] Cris: the process. I think you've had a child, you had your child, so you had heart and you've evolved with him.
[00:20:27] And I think your interests have certainly gravitated towards wanting to make the world yes. A better place for him as he grows. Exactly. And. That's what I've witnessed as you've yeah. Grown and made your films. Yeah. I work with kids to not just adult ones.
[00:20:43] Adria: Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. No, I think there's, I'm always gonna be a nut, right?
[00:20:47] I'm always gonna be a weirdo nut, but I do wanna, it was coming from this place too, of really terrible political things happening in our world. And also just wanting to make something that adds in some small, tiny way to the betterment of [00:21:00] us as a whole.
[00:21:01] Cris: Can you talk a little bit about, but I know you're writing your memoir, so I'm sure some of this is in there as well.
[00:21:06] And I'm so happy you're doing that. Cause I, I get the sense that it's a pretty freeing thing for you, which I kind of went through and I, not that my, not that a lone girl's a memoir, but it was certainly. Autobiographical and tapping into
[00:21:20] Adria: my, okay. Yeah. We'll talk about my memoir, but first, okay. Everyone listening.
[00:21:24] I'm very proud of Chris for writing this because it has so many elements from her own personal life. It is not an autobiography at all, but it's so much inspired from her real life and reading all these amazing films that she's written and scripts that she's written. This one to me is, has to be made.
[00:21:41] Because it's got such a strong voice and that's all you opening up your vulnerability to show what's inside you. And I think that so many other people similar to you need to see this and people that are not similar to you. Hey, everyone, I'm plugging a loan girl because I think it's fantastic. And not just because Chris is my BF.
[00:21:58] Cris: Thank you. [00:22:00] So the memoir, yeah, your memoir. And I think I've talked to you about it. When I was writing a lone girl. So for everyone who's out there with, I don't know, I think I've mentioned this in a coup couple of my conversations, but the version of a lone girl, the script that I am working to get off the ground right now is the 28th draft.
[00:22:16] So poor Adria has in fact read. I would say about 2020 of those drafts. I didn't send you all of 'em. I know you thought I did. I think I've read 23. Okay. Something like that. I didn't send you all of 'em. No, there was a couple that I held back. There was a couple. Yeah. And there's a lot of, if you were to match up the second or first draft of it up against the 28th, there's a huge difference.
[00:22:38] And there's a lot more vulnerability, I think. Yeah. In it. Yeah. The way it's expressed and. A lot of that came through the rewriting process, which I'm a huge fan of. I have in the past, seen people like, oh, I'm done. You know, and it's like their second or third draft. And I personally don't understand that.
[00:22:58] I, I'm not saying you have to go into [00:23:00] 28 drafts, but right. I think they're shaping and digging to be done. Yeah. And, and it's done in the rewrite and I would be paralyzed with certain scenes to write a certain scene because it was digging into itself. And the person today who so openly talks about this script and about my journey is not the person who started with that blank page.
[00:23:24] Right. Adrian will be the first one to tell you just how shy sometimes I could be or how, yeah. Quiet. In certain situations, but I wasn't born that way. Yeah. I was, I think born a bit of a gregarious little kid. That was just how I grew up. Yeah. The environment that had its effect on me and I've worked my entire life to get back to being yeah.
[00:23:44] That kid. And this was part of that process. Yes, exactly. And then Adrian told me a few months ago that she was writing a memoir and it made me happy cuz she's had such. You've had such a interesting life to me and a lot of ups and downs, some of which I've been present for. Yeah. So [00:24:00] talk to me about that.
[00:24:00] Adria: We, we're gonna go a little deep here, friends, so I don't think journeys, revealing vulnerability, all of that. As you get older, you're like, am I gonna be better? Am I gonna be like the best version of who I can be or on the road to that? Or am I gonna get shittier? And I, you know, uh, it'll be two years in August that I'm.
[00:24:19] So for me the last couple of years have been choosing to try to be a good version OFR and with all of that, with all of that, I think if I wasn't sober, I don't think I'd be writing my
[00:24:31] Cris: memoir. And that's with alcohol. Yeah.
[00:24:33] Adria: Yeah. The last several years
[00:24:35] Cris: has been alcohol. Yeah. The last couple. No, I'm talking about the last couple years.
[00:24:38] Yeah.
[00:24:38] Adria: Yeah. So anyway, I got sober and I I've been in therapy a long time. I suggested for everyone, for me, who am I to write a memoir? Who's Adrian. Don. I'm not like. Super famous celebrity, but I I'm writing this memoir to talk about my life in entertainment, my life as a creative, my personal journeys and really my road, what led me to where I am today, what led me [00:25:00] to sobriety.
[00:25:00] And so that's what the book's about. And it feels so scary and so exhilarating to write. And so that's why I know I, I have to make it .
[00:25:09] Cris: Yeah. I mean, that's the thing, like I was telling, like, I'd start paralyzed and then I'd write the scene and then yeah. I'd rewrite it and I'd rewrite it and you get the sense of, okay.
[00:25:17] The, oh, I need to go deeper. I didn't go deep enough. Oh my God. I need to look at this scene again, and then you need to jump off that cliff again, but when you're done. There's just such a feeling of lightness and yeah, I think I told someone, a friend of mine who I had on this. Who's a therapist now she's a friend from high school.
[00:25:34] Mm-hmm and she asked me how I got on this journey to write a long girl mm-hmm , which was a very long answer because she has not been on the journey with me every step. Like you have mm-hmm and I finished it going, it was my therapy, cuz I don't I, and I'm not saying you shouldn't go to therapy. I just, yeah, I haven't.
[00:25:52] I had a. Bad experience when I was in college and I just never really gone back, but I also am pretty good about calling [00:26:00] friends. Yeah. And think like when I need stuff and always lean on people and I'm sure if I really got to a space where I needed it, I'd go.
[00:26:07] Adria: Oh yeah. I'm such a fan of therapy, but like for me, I wrote my book to try to help others that have maybe gone through similar things that I've gone through or not similar things at all.
[00:26:18] Just coming out on the other side of what must have been hard for you. That's my hope for my
[00:26:23] Cris: book. Yeah. Cause I remember. Us in our twenties, in the nineties, very early on when we were in LA, you confessed to me and it was after. So I, I don't know if you mind telling this story, what is it? It's when you pick me up from, from having my knee surgery.
[00:26:39] Oh, and they'd given me Vicodin. Oh yeah. I don't know if you remember this Sori very night. I had an knees surgery. I had had an injury and I was out for nine. But it was outpatient. So I needed somebody. Oh yeah, yeah. To pick me up and to have me not be alone for the first night or something, andr was kind enough to be that friend.
[00:26:59] And [00:27:00] so she, she drives me to her apartment in north Hollywood and they've given me Vicodin. And I had found out when I was 19. So at this point I'm in I'm 28, but when I was 19 and had all of my wisdom teeth out, I had found out. Very severely allergic to coding. It affects my respiratory system. Oh, wow.
[00:27:19] It's not just like a rash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the doctor who had given it to me after my dad took me back to the doctor to go what the hell's going on. Cause I was getting splotches and I was having trouble breathing. Oh my God. And he's like, well, you've had your first reaction. Don't ever have another dose of this cuz they may not get you to the hospital in time.
[00:27:37] That's literally what it's told to me. So knowing that they'd given me Vicodin, which I'd never had before. I had the same, very milder, but same type of reaction. Cuz Vicodin is the synthetic version of coding. So not everyone who's allergic to coding is allergic to Vicodin, but there was something within the two that Chris is allergic to.
[00:27:57] Right. And you found out and you're like, [00:28:00] and you had told me something like that. You told me some story about Chicago and oh, Yeah, pills and whatever, but also had said that you had an addictive personality and that's what registered in my head because I'm that kind of friend. And I think you left for an audition and I flushed, I don't know if you knew this.
[00:28:18] I flushed all of my pills down the yeah, because I knew I couldn't take them. Yeah. And I was afraid for you because I didn't wanna be the reason, you know, no matter whether it was just for fun or not. For some reason you said addictive personality, am I gotta take care of my friend? Ah, and I just think you've helped me on different things too, you know, like we just need to be there and listen.
[00:28:39] Adria: Yeah. I think you're absolutely right. And I thank you for doing that, but there's there, there's something about having. Friendships and support that can get you through, get you through to the other side and letting go of that judgment. There are so many people that have judged me and judged others for their mistakes in the past.
[00:28:56] Going back to failure is a good thing. It is. If you learn and [00:29:00] grow from it and decide to make change for yourself. And I also think that's why your film is so great that you are how you are. And yes, there's judgment for being you and the choices that you've made, but in the end, it's good for you. And I think if we, as a society, let go of this judgment lens, we're so quick to judge why people do what they do and to make up our own decision about why they've done something.
[00:29:22] You honestly have no idea why people do what they do. You don't know about, you know, their history, where they're at, the choices that they make are theirs. So I always appreciated our friendship in terms. Yeah, we might steer each other to make better decisions, but there's no. Oh, you're a terrible person.
[00:29:39] Oh, this judgment how I'm not your friend anymore. Yeah. So I think in that way, Helped each other. And I think it shows, shows in our work as well. Like you are able to write this deeply personal story about yourself because you've gone through some stuff. I can talk about trauma that I'm letting go of. Do you know, in my book.
[00:29:58] Yeah. And make things that. [00:30:00] Might resonate to a couple people out there. Yeah. So it's all for the greater good, but we gotta go through all that junk every so often cuz it's human and it makes us better hopefully. And
[00:30:10] Cris: that is, that is life. Yeah. We're not unique. we're not. And that's, you know, we all have a journey later ahead for us and we don't know what it.
[00:30:20] What it is. I don't, I'm only 51 and no, I don't know how many more years I have on this earth. We don't, but I, I know there's going to be ups and downs that I can't foresee. I can try to manifest. Yep. Put, I do believe that there's something to putting your energy behind something to. Will things to hopefully, yeah, go the way you want.
[00:30:42] Like with this film, I mean, you know this cuz you've written a script too, that I've read that you guys are trying to get made and stuff. It's a hard journey and it is, you better know in your bones that this is what you wanna do. Oh yeah. Because there is downs that you [00:31:00] can't forget about just the rejection letters of the competition, which I, those knock you down.
[00:31:04] But to a certain extent, I, I would ask people to turn it on its head and go. You don't know who the reader was. You don't know the day they were having. No, you don't know, like there's so many parts of it are not controllable and it's their loss. If they didn't see, oh yeah. What you offered, right? Yeah.
[00:31:23] That's always how I've I guess, you know, and I don't know that if I was in my twenties, I would've seen that. Cause I didn't really put my stuff out into a competition until a long girl. Yeah. But I do know that. A be careful who you're taking criticism from or who you've yes. Sent your stuff out for notes.
[00:31:41] You better make sure it's someone you respect. Yes. Their voice and cultivate a belief in yourself. And I'm not talking about any egotistical. I'm the best thing. Whatever. No. Yeah. Confidence, not arrogance. Yeah. But cultivate a sense of what story you are trying to tell when you are trying to tell it [00:32:00] so that when you get those notes or whatever, you can.
[00:32:03] Parse them out and go, yes, this is one that I should really take a look at. Yeah. This is one that is coming from a place of not understanding what I'm trying to do with the script, so right. They didn't understand it. And okay. Is this a person who I need to have understand this? Yeah. No, it's not written for them.
[00:32:22] Exactly.
[00:32:23] Adria: So they move on and that relates to acting too. Like when I'm coaching it's some actors are like, did you like that? Did that work for you? Did you believe me? I'm like, I'm not gonna answer that because did you like it? Did you believe it? Did it work for you? Because it really is about you feeling good in your own.
[00:32:39] Creativity and you not looking for approval or answers from someone else like you, that feedback is great, but you can't let it take over what made it special, what you made your own in the first place.
[00:32:53] Cris: Yeah. It's comes back to what you were talking about with judgment. Yeah. Is the person, is that note coming from a place of judgment or [00:33:00] is that note coming from.
[00:33:01] Support a place of support. Yeah. Yeah. And you can usually tell you can, if you really look and if it's coming from a place of judgment, that means that person didn't understand what you were writing to begin with or your performance or what, whatever. Yeah. It is. You're working on, move on, be mindful of who you are showing your stuff to, that you are asking for notes.
[00:33:22] Yeah. On the flip side. Don't automatically give someone notes if they didn't ask you to. Right. If you have, cause I've had that have had, and it's funny, I, there was a young writer, uh, that I was in a group and they requested to read the script and I said, yeah, sure. And I sent it not with a thing that said, give me your notes.
[00:33:40] It there's just like they asked to read my script and I got this email back going, I will read this weekend and get you my notes. And I wrote back going, listen, I just want you to enjoy it. Yeah. You know, and I, I wrote in a very, you know, me, I don't, I don't write mean, yeah. I was just like, I don't really need notes, but thank you very much.
[00:33:55] Yeah. Let me know what you thought and never got a response. Didn't even get a response to that [00:34:00] email. And I was like, did you just feel insulted? Because I told you, I didn't want your notes. You know, it's like, I I've known you for a month and it's, those are. The people I send my script out. You're one of 'em and a few of the others, there are people I've known for years and they are people who actually were on this journey with me.
[00:34:19] So when they read my script. Yeah. And yes, I have given my script to certain people who are from other worlds, whether they're a lesbian or, or gay or a person of a guy who's older, or a guy who's younger, that's straight or CIS. Yeah. Because I wanted to make sure a big deal for my me is. Everyone can see, get something from this script or can see without judgment.
[00:34:43] Yeah. My journey, right? Yeah. Yeah. But I have gotten notes from some of those people that I had to struggle with and realize, oh, they just didn't get this. There's a moment. And I'll because you're gonna love this. You in particular, there's a moment in the script in a lone girl where it's the first time that [00:35:00] the char lead character Sam gets in kind of a little bit of an argument with the love interest, who is a perfectly great guy.
[00:35:06] She, she says no to him because she wants to be single, not because there's an issue with him, but they do get into this little thing. And it's because she wants to go work on this art project. She's working. instead of hang out with him and watch a movie mm-hmm and he kind of bristles and is like, and kind of says, uh, well, I guess you could do that.
[00:35:25] And it's those little comments that I think men sometimes don't realize what they're actually saying. And this came not from something that happened to me, but it came from something that happened to a friend of mine who she told me. And I'm like, do you mind if I just, and that was what the person. Was basically giving her permission to go read and she turned it back on him.
[00:35:44] It was like, it's okay. Are you giving me permission to not hang out with you? Cause that's, you know, I feel
[00:35:49] Adria: like so much of what we're talking about and so much of what your script is about self identity. Yeah. And identity is the title of my next film. But anyway, it's strangely, but yeah, it's about, what's great about your [00:36:00] script is that it's.
[00:36:01] Hey, I'm choosing to just be with me and it, and that's what I need. I need to be able to be creative, to write, to do this, to be alone when that's a good thing. Uh, yeah, identity's huge. And so it's, it was like, it's like a struggle to keep your own self identity and what you do. Yeah. And I think that a lot of.
[00:36:20] Couples of people in partnerships can totally relate to that in terms of, I don't wanna lose myself. I wanna still be me do the things I wanna do. Yeah. Oh, but wait, does that mean you don't like me? You don't wanna spend time with
[00:36:29] Cris: me? No. And that's what that seems about, right? Yes, exactly. And during the pandemic, the beginning of the pandemic, right at the start I was supposed to be in Atlanta.
[00:36:38] I know this cuz we were gonna be, I came to visit you in Chicago right before it hit. Yeah. And then I went to Atlanta and I was only supposed to be there a month and then. It was right around March 16th. I flew home March 16th, 2020. But during that time I was also gonna host an extra room and a screenwriter came to yes.
[00:36:55] To stay there for a couple months. And he was a great guy, but he's, he was a, I think he was in his early [00:37:00] thirties and he read the script. He was really smart. And so I, I showed him the script cuz. Obviously we were in, I returned and now I had a roommate, which I wasn't. Whoa. you know, which was fine. Cause I wasn't gonna kick him out.
[00:37:11] No, but there was a pandemic, but he, he read it. And that was one of his main notes. When I got the script back from him and he gave really good notes. There was some, there's some work in my script that came directly from things that he thought of. But this one note was. This seems so small. She should be saying that she doesn't want to go hang out with him because he came, he surprised her with concert tickets or something big.
[00:37:34] And it took me a couple of like, I kept going back to that going, cuz it didn't sound right to me, but right. And this is thing. This is how you take notes and how you start thinking about it and how you realize the story you're trying to tell. And it really, it, all of a sudden it dawned on me. I'm like, oh, that he's giving me that note.
[00:37:51] And. Slack on him, but it was a male point of view of this argument,
[00:37:56] Adria: but it was great that you got it, cuz it informed you of the story you wanna
[00:37:59] Cris: tell. [00:38:00] Yeah. And I'm like, this is why this argument's happening because in his mind you would never pick a fight over something that small. But it's not small to her.
[00:38:09] Right. And there's the crux of the misunderstanding to, to a certain extent. I
[00:38:15] Adria: think we all want our voice to be heard. We all wanna be heard. And in that moment, you weren't being that scene was about that character not being
[00:38:22] Cris: heard by the other. Yeah. And it being something small in the other character's mind makes it, it even stronger to me.
[00:38:30] Yes. From a female lens. I don't think any woman reading that script and reading that scene, would've ever pegged that as this should be a bigger thing, she's turning down on his end. That was strictly a male lens note. And I was like, I reject that note. Yeah. But it also means. I'm on the right track. It clarified your vision.
[00:38:50] It clarified my vision, but also I was like, nothing would make me happier if I walked out of the theater and heard three different couples talking about that scene. Exactly. And why it resonated [00:39:00] with them one way or the other. That's all we
[00:39:01] Adria: want when we make our stuff. All we want is for people to, for it, to resonate with people and for them to talk about it.
[00:39:06] Cris: Yeah. Yeah. What does spinster mean to
[00:39:08] Adria: you? Spinster? When we think about the typical word spinster, we think of a little old lady knitting it in. Rocking chair. When I think of spinster, I think of spinning creativity. In different areas as it relates to me. Yeah. Spinning creativity, whether it's I, for me, I have to be creative in any way.
[00:39:30] And that fuels me and who I am, whether it's acting or writing or directing or producing, I think of spinning in different way creatively.
[00:39:39] Cris: That's good. So then there should be a little spinster in each of us. Yeah,
[00:39:43] Adria: absolutely. We gotta have. Spin. If we don't then what are we doing? We're just sitting there.
[00:39:48] Yeah. And we granted we need to sit there too sometimes to get back to creativity, right? Yeah. Do you have anything to plug? Well, I can plug my kid series.
[00:39:56] Cris: Yeah. You just got done shooting one, right? Yeah.
[00:39:58] Adria: So I make a series [00:40:00] called kids matter and it's about teens and tweens. And we, um, each episode we're up to episode eight now is about a contemporary issue that teens face.
[00:40:10] So this one is about identity, gender, and labels and pronoun. We have them on gun violence in schools and social exclusion, and we are educationally distributed. So if you know someone in that needs contemporary content for their schools, middle high school and adult learning, you can hit me up. That's my plug.
[00:40:29] They've
[00:40:29] Cris: also won several awards. Yeah, she's being humble. They've won several awards.
[00:40:35] Adria: we try to win awards. And sometimes we do, I am fully aware that this year was a great year for the awards and that means what it can't always be great. So I'm just trying to stay
[00:40:46] Cris: even. No, I know, but in, in being supportive and celebrating, we have to celebrate each other.
[00:40:52] Yeah. It's just, it's always, each one of those gets better and better. There's a clear. Line of your own evolution as [00:41:00] filmmakers and as communicators with, and if anyone knows anything about making film with kids is not easy. Oh my God. Every year
[00:41:06] Adria: my husband is like trying to cut around people, looking at the lens right now.
[00:41:10] even though I like practice with the camera, don't look, they're like, what do you
[00:41:13] Cris: mean? Well, and that's probably social media. It's probably hard to untrain them from what they're trained to do these days, which is look into the camera and talk to each other. Right.
[00:41:23] Adria: Absolutely. But wait. So one question I have is, I don't know if you wanna talk about it, but like with a loan girl, are you feeling like you're getting closer to production?
[00:41:32] Or where are you
[00:41:33] Cris: with that? We are, you know, this, I've gotten close several times to getting some form of development funds or a promise of more than that. It's. I, I sound like a broken record. It's a roller coaster, right? And you wake up one day so high. Yeah. And going, oh my God, I found someone who, what is gonna gonna invest and believes in my project.
[00:41:57] And then you wake up two months later and oh, [00:42:00] my wife froze my assets, you know, like ridiculous things or realizing that, because this is a marriage in a very big way, whoever. You decide to partner with that as a financier, you better be okay with being in their orbit for the next five years in a, in what could become a tense situation, cuz there's money involved.
[00:42:20] Right? I'm not talking and there could be there's somebody who wanted to help, who I still consider a, a, a friend and I'm a champion for whatever. Part of the journey she's on cuz she's also creator herself, but I don't think we were a match in the sense of being in each other's orbit for that long with money involved because our energies aren't matched in the sense of, I can be a tornado and a pest, not in a bad way, but it's just the way I operate as a producer.
[00:42:50] And I think if you're serious, You come on that lot and you buy the Ferrari. You don't spend a year thinking about it. If you've, you can spend a year thinking about it, but if [00:43:00] you've arrived on the lot, and you've said that one, then put your money down. But BD, who is my fantastic. Producer her name's speed.
[00:43:08] Goodnell if anyone wants to, to look her up and she's had films at Tribeca, and she's got a full slate of films, including mine that are all about female empowerment, some are teen stories. Some are older women. I think most are hem by first time, female filmmakers. And she's starting a company called, uh, empowered entertainment.
[00:43:25] And I'm part of that slate, which is pretty awesome, but she just got back from can and we're. Exploring a couple options that might have come up. One is that vertical entertainment might be willing to put in 1.5 for the like presale for the domestic rights, which is pretty exciting if that happens. And then the other thing is that Sony picture classics might be interested possibly.
[00:43:47] Right? So we're exploring that and. I'm learning to be excited, but not commit myself completely to that excitement as [00:44:00] I'm going along. You know,
[00:44:00] Adria: first of all, that's exciting news and you know me, I'm your big cheerleader over here going? I hope it happens. Yeah, but also I've been telling myself this too, you get the high highs and the low lows, our job is to
[00:44:11] Cris: remain in the middle and that's what I'm learning right now.
[00:44:14] I when I was first and that's the things I, you know, this, I started on this journey, not knowing anyone really right. Independent feature world, as long as I've been in the industry, it's never been on that side. It's all very siloed. Yeah. To a certain extent, meaning who makes what mm-hmm even if you were on the studio side, you wouldn't really know how to make an independent film.
[00:44:35] It's a different animal. And that's part of why I wanted to make this. Podcast is it's an exploration of my own journey and my own interest and why I gravitated towards writing this film. But it's also an exploration of how does one go about making this cuz you know, this it's, there's very little out there in real time of how you got your film off the ground.
[00:44:56] Adria: But yeah, nobody. Tells you how to do it. You can learn and [00:45:00] train, but you just gotta
[00:45:01] Cris: throw yourself into it. And there's a lot of podcasts to learn or videos and stuff and all of it's great. If there's a podcast called team deacons. Oh yeah. It's amazing. With some of their interviews. There's a podcast called angle on producers.
[00:45:14] Oh yeah.
[00:45:14] Adria: It's like anything you do, like you can train and learn, but. Until you get out there and do it.
[00:45:20] Cris: Yeah. You have to jump. But a lot of those, a lot of the conversations either talk about while you're in production, which is great, or they talk about how the film got distributed in Sundance or whatever.
[00:45:31] But when it gets to this part, everyone's like, well, you know, you just gotta make it happen. Yeah. You hear that. And that doesn't help. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and so that's why I'm fairly open with yeah. She went to can specifically for this. Yeah. Right. And you gotta try to put yourself out there.
[00:45:46] Adria: I think if I'm leaving anybody with anything, it would be just, if you put yourself out there and show up to certain things and just be present, if you keep doing that, the universe is gonna attract people.
[00:45:57] To help and support you and for you to support and help [00:46:00] on the way
[00:46:00] Cris: too. Yeah. And together you'll figure it out, rise up and help each other, get, yeah. Figure it out and make whatever it is you're trying to make. Thank you so much, Ari. Thank you for joining me and, and all of your great wisdom that you've shared today.
[00:46:15] Adria: Oh, geez. This is so fun for me because Chris is. Such a great person. So I'm just happy to hang out and chat. Thanks for having
[00:46:21] Cris: me. Thank you so much for tuning into BLIS spinster. If any of these conversations are resonating with you, please subscribe on apple podcast, Google podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:46:31] You can find bliss will spinster on Instagram and Twitter and through our website, BLIS will spinster.com. Again, thanks so much for joining me on this journey and until next week go find your happy.